” “My head’s not in it.”“I want to hear you,” I gently urge. “My neighbors don’t. Not at two in the morning.” “I think it’s a lot later than that.” “Seriously? Alright, give me a second.” I lean back on the pillow. Juliette drinks a little more beer before picking up the guitar and strumming it a few times. Then she closes her eyes and sings. The way she sings is the ugliest and most beautiful thing I have ever heard. Ugly because there is pain in every word. And beautiful for the same reason. Not a put on, showy kind of pain, but something you know inherently comes from someplace real. You know it because it hits someplace real in you. Again, symmetrical perfection.Her voice is honeyed, the lyrics spoken in French, which is still difficult for me to understand. But none of that matters. She finishes with a little strum of the guitar and opens her eyes to see me smiling. To fail to see me fighting to hold inside everything, the emotional compounds I do not recognize,. A self satisfied smirk graces my lover’s full and upturned lips. I sense it more than see it through heavy-lidded eyes and a haze of fringy lashes. It takes me back, a day or two, to amost indecent proposal issued in hushed tones during the late afternoon, over sizzling telephone wires. An idea so thoroughly appealing my lover knew I would not possess the power to resist. ‘How did we get here?’ I muse aloud and watch the slightly arrogant smirk morph into a broad and wicked smile. ‘Magic…’ The word resonates deep within me. I think back to the sprawling metropolis we’ve just left, with its small town mentality and ostrich with its head in the sand tendencies. Downtown resurrection and revitalization are madness in its purest form. The never-ending cycle of road construction and snarls of traffic congestion waste our precious little time together. The conflagration of horns honking, waves of heat emanating from the pavement, and the haze and smog of the masses who believe this to be.
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